Baby Love: At first sight or...not so much?

I immediately set down my bags as I walked in the door and crouched for the best kind of "I missed you" hug. As I smothered Brady with kisses, repeating, "I just love you, love you, love you," I thought of how much my love has grown for this sweet little guy and how it's changed since the beginning newborn days.

Our childbirth class educator had talked about how love for your newborn can be immediate, love-at-first-sight or....it may not be. I'm glad she had brought this up because I think it's an important point to consider.

I have a couple friends expecting babies in the next few weeks/months and have been inspired to reflect on my thoughts regarding the bonding experience postpartum.

 

I'll admit, for me it was not immediate head-over-heels infatuation for Brady. Sure, I thought he was adorable and I wanted to be near him, snuggle him and talk to him. I'm fortunate in this way, as postpartum feelings for some women can be so strong that they have little desire to interact with their infants. I had my bouts of frustration as diapers leaked, arms escaped swaddles and he needed to nurse every couple hours around the clock ("Didn't I just feed him?!"). But mostly, I enjoyed having him around. The curious thing that struck me was that he didn't feel like mine. For the first few weeks, he really seemed like a pet someone had entrusted to me to take care of for awhile.
Strange? Possibly.
But, think about it. Taking care of a newborn includes very little reciprocal interaction and involves mostly basic needs. It was not until he reached about 5 or 6 weeks, his eyes began to focus and that first precious smile emerged that my heart exploded with affection and pride for my baby boy. Even thinking back on that now, it brings tears to my eyes.

These days, I have a love for this adorable addition to our family I really have trouble putting into words.
He is constantly amazing me with his sense of humor, communication and compassionate disposition.
Being his mom has brought me more joy than I ever could have imagined.

I hope that my friends who are expecting babies, and any other readers about to welcome a new little bundle can take comfort in knowing that "crazy in love" need not be immediate. It will happen.

If you've already been through the experience of stumbling your way through the newborn experience, I'd love to hear your thoughts about falling in love with your baby.