Reflections on Year One of Motherhood

I saw a Facebook quiz the other day asking us to find out "What kind of parents we are." And that got me thinking.

I spent a lot of time reading throughout my pregnancy trying to plan just what sort of parent I was going to be. And looking back at my rookie year through this amazing journey, I realize there was no way I could have known what "kind of parent" I would be. Nor should I have to.

It seems we can get so caught up in all the terms; "laid back, strict, attachment, progressive, crunchy." And then there's the methods; "sleep training, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, cry it out, breastfeeding, baby-led weaning..." and the list goes on and on. We are inundated with so much information about how to parent that it seems we have forgotten that instinctively, we already know what we're doing. Don't get me wrong, I love good resources and there are lots of good books out there. But, I've learned they don't have all the answers. The answers are found in your relationship with your own child and what works for your family.

So, after a year of trial and error, laughing and crying, living and learning, here is what I've learned about motherhood and my role in it:
1. Don't be so hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But when I've let go of my expectations and let my baby show me the way to the care he needs, things have gone much more smoothly.
2. However you can get some sleep, do it. For us that has meant co-sleeping. This happened almost by accident as I would sometimes be too sleepy in those newborn months to get him back to his cradle. We were co-sleeping anyway, so we made the decision as parents to keep doing it and do it safely. A controversial topic, I know but this is what works for us. Which leads to....
3. Do what works for you. I value good advice and love to hear what works for people. But, in the end, what I'm comfortable with and what brings the least amount of stress to our family is what we'll go with.
4. Parenting can be hard on a marriage. You are suddenly two different people. You have new roles, new sources of physical, mental and emotional stress. This can be difficult. Communicate. But also,
5. Parenting can be wonderful for a marriage. It brings me such joy to see my husband be a dada. We value our time together (especially outside of the house) even more. Show your partner you appreciate them.

I know I have so much more to learn. We're all just trying to figure this out. And we're all doing our best. I am so looking forward to what the future of tears, snuggles, scraped knees and lessons learned has to share with me.